Dog Prayers
Dear God: Will I have to apologize to the mailman when I get to heaven?

Dear God: Why is it that humans will always smell a flower, but never smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God: When we get to heaven can we sit on the couch and sleep on the bed …or is it the same old story?

Dear God: I’m really upset that there isn’t a car named for a dog. You have the Mustang, the Cougar, the Rabbit, the Jaguar, the Stingray and the Colt. Cougars certainly don’t ride in cars, and how can you fit a colt into a car? It’s not fair. Can’t you rename the Buick Regal the Buick Beagle?

Dear God: Am I still a bad dog if I bark my head off in the forest and no human hears me?

Dear God: I was wondering if there are dogs on other planets. The reason I ask is because I’ve been howling at the moon and the stars for some time now and all I ever hear back is that “yappy” Poodle across the street.

Dear God: When I get to heaven, would it be too much to ask for you to give me my testicles back?
...AMEN!!